Saturday, March 20, 2010

Caped Crusader

This is what I looked like upon completion of my run.

I awake feeling hungover from an excess of caffeine, sugar, and Christian worship. I try to recall all the amazingly positive feelings from the night before but all I can do is crawl out of bed and get ready for my 5 mile run. I have a ton of stuff to do today and I cannot delay any longer.

Everything bothered me at the beginning of this run. Which is odd considering the weather was beautiful. If I recall, I was more upbeat last week while I was being lashed by rain and wind. For whatever reason little things kept bothering me. My shoes were too loose then too tight, my hair kept falling out of the buns that they were twirled into, I was dressed too warmly, I had to pee (sorry for being honest!). My jacket was the first situation to be addressed. For some reason I simply cannot wear discarded garments around my waist. Placed there, they seem to act as nets waiting to entangle my swimming arms. Due to the fact that I was on a well traversed path I tried once more to suck it up and wear the stupid jacket around my waist. Alas, it was no use, I was going to have to cape it. I swung the garment into a more rope-like device and tied it over and under my shoulders thus creating a weird cape. Who knows the origins of this idea, but it works for me. This was the final touch to my outfit of misfits. Who wants to wear clothes that match anyway? Also of note, are my over sized black sunglasses. While I assure you these look fabulous laying on the beach or strolling by shops, they don't seem to have the same effect while running. I bet Wallmart has some more technical looking ones. I make a note to get some asap.

Right off the bat I wanted to go to the bathroom. At one point I passed a dog training facility with a portapotti on the other side of a chain link fence equipped with barbed wire at the top. I pictured myself climbing to the top, whipping my jacket/cape off, throwing it on the barbed wire, and reaching the other side just like in the movies. My only deterrents were the dozen or so people and dogs actually training by the portapotti. Instead, maybe I could just run off of the road and into the woods or knock on a kind stranger's front door? None of these seemed like valid possibilities. Something more important was happening anyway. Where was my turn around point? I vaguely remembered picking a telephone pole as a half-way marker. Really? A telephone pole? What a great idea seeing as though there are about 20 on this road. Maybe it was the one by the sign? No, it is definitely the one by this person's driveway. Whatever, I'll just turn around and know that I either did slightly more or slightly less than 5 miles.

On the way back I adjusted my shoes one more time and promised to stop for the rest of the run. My mental circumstances were much improved on the way back. I may have even been jogging, I sure felt like I was flying. Towards the end it seemed that I could keep going for miles and miles longer. I guess Galloway's plan is working because he believes that you should never feel exhausted after a long run. All in all, despite the whining in the beginning of the run everything worked out wonderfully. I learned that I should run in shorts from now until winter, buy new "running" appropriate sunglasses, and make sure my hair is secure before venturing out. With regard to my clothes in general, I simply do not care if I match or clash.


  1. I found a good you tube video of what I'm talking about...

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  2. Maybe I'll try it tomorrow! You tube is the best