Over two months ago when my doctor told me I had the flu I remember thinking, "Oh my goodness I might not run for two weeks. What is going to happen to my training plan?" Now I am hoping that I soon might view walking as a leisurely activity instead of torture.
I haven't written anything in months because my muscles are literally too exhausted on a daily basis. They become weak at an alarmingly fast rate. By the end of the day I can barely walk because my leg muscles are so weak. Sometimes my arms are so tired that washing my hands takes too much effort. Who knew you even used muscles when you washed your hands? One day at work I was stocking frames, and the act of holding frames for hours fatigued my hands for days. After that I broke things in the kitchen because I thought that I was soundly holding things when in fact, I wasn't. The worst is when I do too much overall and have to spend days in bed. I should clarify that when I say "do too much" I really mean that I am just trying to do normal daily activities like walking and driving. I have had some really bad spells where I have had to miss weeks of work (I previously have missed maybe 1 day a year) and luckily a few good days in a row before feeling bad again. I am so thankful for the good days, like today. I even had some great days with my family in Wildwood. On the rare "good" days I have to try and clean a few dishes, do some laundry, or any normal activity that I have been neglecting. Our house is a disaster right now, cleaning takes way too much effort. oh well!
Basically I just try to get through each day. Work is agony. I shuffle around trying to do as little as possible, which is still way too much. By the time I arrive home I crawl up the stairs and usually pass out on the bed in my pup's room/spare bedroom. I find that it is easier to wake up from nap on that bed. After I nap for an hour or two I get ready for the next day and spend some time with my poor neglected hubby while resting on the couch.
Overall I look fine and to the majority of people I seem completely normal. I am determined to keep being my happy, laughing, and smiling self. I think because of my happy personality many people don't take seriously how bad I am feeling or how much pain I am in, but ultimately if I wasn't laughing I would be crying. Not to mention the fact that I always focus on the positive. Right now I am going through a rough patch but things are really not that bad. I have all my parts and most of them work at least some of the time which is way more than some people have. Plus, I have the best family and friends who have been so supportive and helpful.
So, what exactly is wrong with me? I have no idea! Tomorrow I may post my symptoms and a timeline of what has been happening. Currently, I am waiting on test results from the rheumatologist. I have an appointment on Tuesday and I will hopefully receive some answers. I have also been on steroids for a little over a week. At first they made me feel worse than ever. This might be because I was on such a low dose (5mg) and I felt like I had energy but in a few hours my muscles would just give up and my joints always hurt. Now, I actually think that they are working. I felt horrible on Wednesday, I actually thought that I was going to have to leave work early, but then I took my pill and felt immensely better a short time later. Today I had another good day. Maybe it's the steroids working. I have also been seeing an alternative type doctor and according to him I should be better by next week. Whatever the case may be I just want to get better and I am confident that this will happen!