Shuffling

For the purpose of this blog I will most likely continue to use the term "running" when referring to my gait. I would like to make it perfectly clear that I am in no way actually running, I rarely even jog. In fact, I most often clod along in what I have termed "shuffling". My feet barely leave the ground and my speed is faster than a walk yet slower than most people jog. I just wanted to set the recore straight in case someone happened to drive by while I was "running"! I have come to terms with how slow I am and I do not care how long it takes me, I will finish a marathon this year!

never enough sleep

Job: Manager at a retail store

Hours: 5am-1:30pm

Description: Physically demanding

I don't want to delve to far into my job but I will talk about how it relates to my training and life goals. First of all, I have a very physical job which involves being on my feet for 8 hours, running around, and heavy lifting. I wake up around 3:20am Monday-Friday, with the occasional weekend or overnight. This winter has been pretty rough, forcing me to wake up as early as 2:30. For the first few weeks/months, these hours were fun. I would come home and still have a whole day to accomplish things. After a while though, the lack of sleep got to me. I was averaging maybe 5 hours of sleep if I was lucky and it wasn't even a restful sleep. Somewhere around the holidays I just feel apart, mentally and physically. Then I became obsessed with trying to get enough sleep. I wouldn't make any plans on the weekends so I could sleep, I would take naps when I got home, and I would fall asleep on the couch at night. I had anxiety about not getting enough sleep. Finally, I think that I have found a balance. I am at the point where sometimes I sleep more and sometimes I sleep less and I can tell when I am really tired or just lazy. It is still a struggle though to get my wonderful husband to understand that I am not falling asleep on the couch because I don't want to spend time with him, I am just exhausted and literally cannot keep my eyes open!

let's start at the beginning!

Let me preface this by stating that although the following is of a serious nature, I am not usually this stern.

My GOAL is to COMPLETE a marathon via any means necessary, whether it be walking, shuffling, jogging, or crawling. It is my HOPE that by partaking in this journey I will in turn positively change my life.

Someone once told me that I have an "artist's" personality, meaning that I'm either black or white, one extreme or the other. I would pretty much agree with this. When I start something I am 100% manic about whatever it is. Then, once the novelty wanes, I stop. For example: I eat really healthy for a few weeks and then I eat very poorly. I eat nothing or I eat a ton. I run for a few weeks and then I sit on the couch. "Everything in moderation" holds no meaning to me.

That is why I set this LONG-TERM goal for myself. One cannot train and complete a marathon in a few weeks, it takes months. My belief is that if I can finish this I can do anything! One huge change I want to make is with regard to my job. I desperately need a job that I actually enjoy and can contribute positively to society. I am just not sure what it is. In reality, I'm probably just too lazy to find it. Therefore, on my daily shuffles and walks I want to contemplate my life, where I am and what I want to do. Maybe God will give me an idea or point me in the right direction sometime in these coming months of training.

So, there it is. I hope you will share in this journey with me.

Shuffling:
- moving in a dragging or clumsy manner
- a gait which is quicker than a walk but slower than a jog

Salvation:
-the act of saving or protecting from harm, risk, loss, destruction, etc