I'm BAAAACCKKK!

I'm baaaccckkkk!! Well to blogging and exercising anyway, not really to running, even though I am trying.

I had a fantastic month of really good health. I would say I was pretty much back to my old self. I was even able to start exercising again, but for some reason I still cannot run. Last week, some of my old symptoms started to reappear again. My hair started falling out, my joints started hurting, and my legs got wobbly. The problem with my legs is the worst part. It's actually my knees and ligaments/muscles around my knees, the rest of my legs are fine. When the leg problems start it becomes hard for me to walk. My knees feel like they can't support me, sometimes they lock up, I have to take very small steps, and sit down a lot. Sometimes it becomes really bad and all I can do is sit. My energy was still pretty high so I wasn't too upset about it. Plus, my legs started feeling better again Thursday.

Just to recap, I have been to my primary care doctor a million times, 2 rheumatologists, a neurologist, and a homeopathic doctor (who probably helped the most). I have been tested for every inflammatory, autoimmune, and neurological disorder and everything has come back negative except for a high positive ANA test which doesn't yield any answers on it's own. I have to continue to be monitored because the ANA test means that I could develop Lupus or some other autoimmune disease or it could mean nothing. Some people always have a positive ANA test and are fine. Basically, no one knows what is wrong with me.

The great part is that I began to feel better. I even started hanging out with friends and exercising. The weird part is that I cannot run without consequences. I tried to ease back into walking and shuffling a few weeks ago and it made my leg problem worse. I therefore decided to just do some low impact workout. I have these cheesy Turbo Jam DVDs, it's like a kick boxing workout and it is actually a very good workout. I am pouring sweat when I am done. Doing this makes me feel better which is awesome. Herein lies the problem, I cannot even put into words how much I miss running. I am thankful I can workout but nothing compares to running for me, nothing even comes close. This is the best weather to run in and I just cannot stay indoors. I am trying to do 30 minutes a few times a week of super slow walking and a few minutes of jogging and I'll see what happens. Last week I tried to go for an hour and it was great mentally but physically I think it was too much. Today I went for a really easy 30 minutes alternating 3 minutes walking and 2 minutes jogging and I stretched and iced after I was done. I have to focus on what I can do instead of what I can't do and what other people can do.

I guess the most frustrating part is that no one knows what this is or why this is happening. I think it would be mush easier to handle if I had some known injury and some kind of plan to get better. I feel like I'm shooting in the dark here. It makes no sense that I can't jog. I can do a crazy aerobic workout and my job is extremely physical. In case anyone forgot I am on my feet all day at work 5 days a week. I go up and down ladders, unload thousands of 5-25lbs boxes, and probably walk miles. Why can't I jog?!

This welcome back post is all over the place! I just had too much to go over. From here on out I will try to write about my bizarro ailments, finding a new job, and trying to run again!